Hungry Girl Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

Growing up, I was the girl with the "weight problem."  From a young age, my appearance became a focal point.  I was taller than most girls my age, definitely thicker around the middle, and I developed fairly early.  It didn't take long for my weight to become something by which I measured my value and self worth.  I remember being as young as four years old, and having elderly church women try and pinch my chubby cheeks... poking me, prodding me, and affectionately deeming me... fat.  They weren't cruel, and seemed to mean well, but deep inside I felt shame and embarrassment.  I didn't want that sort of attention.

As much as I wanted to hide, I just couldn't.

Hungry Girl Part 1

It's been a very "hungry" week.  Seems pretty typical at this point in my pregnancy, right?  My belly is growing rapidly, and I'm finally over the morning [and night] sickness that left me without an appetite for the entire first trimester.   Now I must be making up for lost time.

Except, that's not the whole truth.  Whether I've been pregnant, or not, I occasionally have days... weeks... when I eat, and eat, and eat-- until I can no longer look at food without feeling gross.   No matter how much I eat, I am never satisfied.   During these times, I know that I am not physically hungry.  I am trying to soothe an ache, relax, or entertain myself.  No amount of food will do the trick.

My binging is a dirty little secret that I have carried with me since 7th grade.