This weekend, my mom and I took my oldest two to visit her aunt, who is nearly 90 years old, and some other family members. The trip down (and back) was nearly four hours long, and much too long a trip for Sweet Baby K, who stayed home with his daddy.
I almost didn't go because K had a fever on Friday, but my husband insisted that we go and spend some time with relatives. He is a loving father of four, and more than capable of caring for a sick baby.
From the moment we arrived at my aunt's house, I was blown away by how comfortable my kids felt talking to everyone, most of whom they had never met. O-boy and the Princess had a blast running along the countryside, blowing bubbles and playing with their cousins. By the end of our trip, they became fascinated with my great aunt's house--the house her husband (God rest his soul) built many years ago. O-boy was particularly intrigued, and eager to explore the grounds.
Aunt: Where are you going?
O-boy: To look around inside your house.
Aunt: I don't think you should do that without asking first.
Me: If you wander around someone's house without asking, it's impolite, and called snooping. But if you want to see the house, then you can ask for a house tour.
O-boy: Can I please have a house tour?
Aunt: Well then.... come on!
My aunt showed us around her house, some places I had never seen before. I thought about how she and my great uncle, and their four children all lived in the house together. I imagined the good, bad, happy, and sad times they shared, and the things that brought them together. I imagined what it must have been like to deal with the outside world, and return to a beautiful, cozy abode in the mountains.
My mom dropped the kids and me off at my place late that night. My head didn't hit the pillow until after 1 am, but Baby K woke me up four hours later for an early Sunday morning snack. After putting him back down, I found it hard to fall back asleep. I couldn't get this thought out of my head:
How do I make our home a sanctuary, a safe haven for me and my family?
I decided that--in spite of my endless list of house chores--the first step would be to become a haven for my family... myself.
But God, where in the world do I even begin?
I jumped out of bed, threw my clothes on and brushed my teeth, rushing off to church still wearing the previous day's makeup (which kind of sucks for your skin, but totally saves time, y'all).
Of course, the message was all about dealing with the things that constantly frustrate us, and growing in spite of them. In the spirit of realness, I find myself on the ledge more times than I'd care to admit. There are so many freaking things that drive me out of my skull. Help. Me. Rhonda.
So, here I am--holding onto the edge of God's coat, trusting Him to fill me with all the things.
Love.
Joy.
Peace.
Patience.
Kindness.
Goodness.
Faithfulness.
Gentleness.
Self-control.
Maybe I'm being hard on myself, but I dream of a place that everyone in my family--even I--can call our sanctuary... a haven... home.
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